Monday, October 30, 2006


A person should try to explore life as much as possible to groom one’s personality.
Exploring life exactly means understanding all the emotions and trying to implement them to their fullest.


Within our everyday lives we CAN experience joy on a daily basis.

But not through the acquisition of material things, fancy titles, or "free" time. Striving in these ways drives joy away as surely as squeezing a handful of water leaves us empty-handed.

If we want to find magical moments in our everyday lives, we have to make room for JOY! Joy requires emptiness - space and inattention. There is no room for joy when we are striving, collecting and hoarding things. There is no room for joy when we are full of anger, cynicism, or despair. There is no room for joy when we are worrying about future or complaining about past events.

As Susanna Tamaro writes in her gem of a book, Follow Your Heart, "Joy… has no object. It seizes you for no apparent reason, it’s like the sun, and its burning is fueled by its own heat."

To be seized with joy we have to be open to it.

Sweep away material things.
Remove from our living spaces the things that bind us to them, that raise negative experiences, or that remind us of the ways we aren’t. We are left with simpler living spaces graced with a few things that have significance and meaning to us. Then we are free to experience the joyous freedom of nourishing memories and pleasing surroundings.

Sweep away anger, resentment, and bitterness.
Apply the greatest gift of all - forgiveness. By living lives of conscious self-acceptance and learning to forgive ourselves we become more able to forgive others. This loosens the unbearable limitation of anger, resentment, doubt and despair and frees our hearts to swell with joy.

Sweep away the busyness and mental chatter of lives lived in the possible future or buried past.
When we second-guess what we "should have done" or anticipate what we are going to do, we become oblivious to the magic in the moment we are living. By learning to be present in the current moment we open to the treasures that it offers.

Sweep away taking for granted and walk with an appreciative heart.
We dance with joy when counting our blessings – those that float unnoticed in our existing lives and those that cascade in unexpectedly. It’s nearly impossible to be gloomy when acknowledging the gifts that are present in our lives.

Sweep away self-limitations and face each day with a can do attitude.
When we start each day with a determined CAN DO attitude, we invite ourselves to learn new things, tackle seemingly difficult challenges. We then experience the joyfulness of self-discovery and accomplishment.

Sweep away worry and explore the impossible power of surrender.
Worry serves as a signal that we must tend to something, but when we have done all that can be done for the moment, it’s time to let go of worry and surrender to the joyous support of people and possibilities.

Surprise your life.
Waken your five senses, practice harmless and minor anger and seek a larger freedom in your life.

Cultivate beauty.
Create beauty in your everyday activities and celebrate beauty in your everyday surroundings.

Embrace Laughter.
Laughter is good for our health, and as Marilyn Fergusan notes, "At the height of laughter the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities."

Give yourself simple extravagances and healthy indulgences.
Garnish your life with little pleasures that don’t destroy your pocketbook…or your health.


When we talk about developing personality we should also consider some facts about the emotional development. Emotions play a major and a very important role in this context


While talking about the development of a personality, one must mention the emotional development in that person.

Expression of emotions plays a vital role in an individual's personality.

Emotions can be divided into two broad categories:-

This emotion is displayed in different ways by the younger and the older people. Younger children express this through their motor activities like jumping and clapping or they do activities like bubbling, kicking, etc. Where as the elder people may express this emotion by smiling or laughing. However this way of expression is different in the boys and the girls.


It is one of the most important emotions which are desirable in every one.
Curiosity boots up to achieve something, or in other words it motivates person to become something. However, a lot depends on the atmosphere in which the person lives and the people with whom they mixes up. If people around are encouraging enough, an individual will naturally develop this emotion.


Affection broadly includes loving, caring and tender feelings. A person needs these very much entirely first from their parents then as they join school, from their teachers. This emotion creates a special bond which further contributes in the overall development of a person to a great extent. It is supposed to be expressed by certain gestures like patting, kissing, laughing, etc.


Fear is an example of the unpleasant emotions. Small kids generally cry, scream of shout out of fear whereas a bit older or younger might express their feelings of fear by locking the doors, illuminating the room, drawing the curtains and so on. This is a feeling which generates from various reasons e.g. some bad experience, at times, from imaginary and supernatural experiences, etc.


Jealousy, another unpleasant emotion, is actually an attitude of resentment or it is an act of showing resentment against someone. It generally emanates when one finds oneself inferior to the other or when one seems to lose something. This emotion is expressed in various ways which depends on the person's age, its nature and so on. A child, if jealous of someone, will perhaps beat that person or snatch away from it something which is very much liked by it. So while dealing with the children it is necessary to be very careful about the fact that all children in the family are treated at par. They need not be discriminated on the basis of their sex, looks, intelligence, and activeness and so on. Elder people may treat the person badly with whom they are jealous off.


Anger denotes a person's dissatisfactions with others or for someone's act. However the frequency and intensity varies from person to person. Anger, however, occurs more frequently in children whose parents either cajole or nag them quite often. The way the parents think, talk and behave has a great impact on the children. If they really want their offspring to come up to their expectations, they must first set examples by standing true to their principles. So parent’s proper upbringing of a child plays a major role in proper upbringing of a child.


Shyness is generally developed in a person due to lack of socialization. It makes an individual remain aloof, alone and confined to himself only. He/she does not feel comfortable in a group or in mixing up with different kinds of people. An extremity of this emotion may make the person timid, unable to express its views, its desires, and its problems and deprive it of its right. It can further prevent him/her from making the best out of their talents and qualities. They remain unpopular and unnoticed which is likely to give rise to a feeling of inferiority complex in them. The best way to avoid shyness is to encourage person to move around, talking and mixing up with more and more people, knowing their views, noticing their way of thinking, listening to their suggestions and then communicating with without any hesitation.


Anxiety generally results from worrying. To some extent, it is similar to fear but not identical. Anxiety is the result of an imaginary cause and it generally increases when one fails to find out any solution to the imaginary problem. It causes sleeplessness, tensions, depression, and nervousness and so on.An elder suffers from anxiety more than a tiny one because it is only when one thinks one thinks over a certain matter for a long time, analyses it, draws conclusions, and finds a negative result, that anxiety takes place. Quite naturally a smaller child does not have that much capability of thinking as an elder has.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Before going any further let us first discuss about different characters of a human nature.
The term "Personality Profile" is frequently used, but TEMPERAMENT is even more basic. Many things go into forming a person's "personality" such as environment, upbringing, integrity, education, faith, job skills, etc

Understanding of Temperament helps break down many of the racial, gender, social and communication barriers that often have stood in the way of people working together.

Temperament Traits

Basically there are four main types of personality traits

  3. PACE

Let's discuss about EXTROVERSION - They are mostly people oriented and believe in teamwork

Extroverted people are talkative, friendly and outgoing. They LOVE to talk. They have an influential style of communication. They're most creative when working with others, they love being the part of the team

Other characteristics of Extroversion are

  • Out-going, friendly, cheerful.
  • Talkative, fluent communicators.
  • They like people a lot and want to be liked in return.
  • Usually are enthusiastic and pleasant.
  • Like to develop people, build organization.
  • Get things accomplished through people.
  • Know lots of people.
  • Like teamwork, will involve people.
  • Like group discussions, encourage participation in decision-making.
  • Tend to have the last comment, they add a P.S.
  • Persuasive.
  • Tend to think they've told you something they haven't.
  • Constantly selling, often themselves.
  • Concerned with how others respond to them.
  • Naturally optimistic.
  • Like to be noticed ... often in the latest fashion.
  • Good in all kinds of selling.

The best way to work with Extroversion peoples are

  • Talk with them. Don't just listen to what they say. Make the discussion as an interactive session.
  • Allow them to work as part of a team.
  • An extrovert people becomes more creative when they have people around them those bounces ideas off.
  • Provide feedback.
  • Always show that you are interested in what they are doing.

If you find people with Extrovert nature then you must get people opposite to Extrovert nature and those will have characters like -

  • They will be private.
  • Use lesser words.
  • Can be abrupt under pressure.
  • Sometimes shy.
  • They like people but then not a big group.
  • They basically prefer a one on one.
  • Also think that extrovert people should use fewer words.
  • Like to have time alone to think and make decisions / plan / organize.

Second type of personality is people having dominant temperament trait which is called as DIRECTNESS.

They're the ones who take charge and want others to follow them. They have a direct style of communication however sometimes there direct style can be misunderstood as criticism, because they have the habit of saying all that is going on their mind directly.

Other characteristics of Directness are as follow

  • They act on their environment rather than reacting to it.
  • They are adventurous.
  • Naturally self confident.
  • High ego people.
  • Hard-driving and influential.
  • They are truthful which others may take as criticism.
  • They are highly confident then others.
  • Will do things only when they will see any result in it.
  • They are more interested in results then people.
  • Commanding and reliable.
  • They must be challenged and they will in turn challenge others.
  • Deals with things aggressively.
  • Often do not realize how strongly they come across to others.
  • They will delegate responsibility to others but will never give authority.
  • Hate having anyone looking over their shoulder.
  • Outspoken and direct. Good trouble shooters succeed on solving problems and when they run out they will look for more.

There the best way to work with these types of directness people is

  • Be direct and to the point.
  • Allow them to choose if possible ... allowing them to make a decision gives them a certain degree of control.
  • Discuss how the results will be accomplished.

Exactly opposite of Directness peoples are

  • Low-key.
  • Non-aggressive and unapproachable.
  • Appreciate support in decision making.
  • He/She often is modest.
  • Mostly humble and sort of reserved.

Let’s check out the third type of temperament the PACE

The focus of the Paced person is on timing, harmony and cooperation.
Paced people appear laid back, relaxed and easy going. They don't rush ... they just move along in a smooth, under control manner. They hate to put under pressure therefore they naturally tends to avoid pressuring others. They are generally very helpful.

Other characteristics of Pace are listed below

  • Appear cool, calm and controlled under pressure.
  • Appear stable, emotionally adjusted, in harmony with the world.
  • Determined people.
  • Noted for persistence and cooperation.
  • Dependable and reliable.
  • Do not like to be rushed at the last minute ... plan ahead.
  • Inclined to make every move count.
  • Noted for good memory and being a good listener.
  • Organize their time to get work done on schedule.
  • A good understanding of time management.
  • Time, schedules, deadlines are important.
  • Like to know the time frame.
  • Warm and friendly sometimes may be perceived as extrovert.
  • Naturally good planners.
  • Make great friends ... have time to take time to listen, etc.
  • Approach things in a systematic and disciplined way.
  • Tend to hold things within ... not make waves.

The best way to work with a person who has the Pace trait is

  • Relaxed.
  • Paced people appreciate a "calm, cool and collected" style.
  • Ask them for their help/cooperation. Preferably not at the last moment.
  • Consider their schedule. Get with them early so that they can work what you need into their schedule.

If a person has the PACE trait then you will find people with opposite trait also. People having PACE below the line

  • Usually feel that they don't have enough time ... hate to wait in line.
  • Cannot stand routine.
  • Have a great sense of urgency to get things accomplished.
  • Often rushing at the last minute.
  • Often not a very good listener.
  • Difficult to relate to the High PACE people when under time pressure.

The next type of temperament is STRUCTURE

The focus of the structured person is on being right and doing the right thing.

The people that you know who are careful, precise & perfectionists ... they're Structured.

They can oppose to change, not because the change isn't good but because they need some time to be SURE that it’s good. They need to gather facts and do the research before making a decision. They ask A LOT of questions ... they like to check and re-check ... they like to be right!

Distinguishing Characteristics are

  • They HATE to make mistakes.
  • Will double check themselves and others.
  • Naturally good organizers.
  • Keep things together in the company.
  • Usually careful, accurate, precise.
  • Are very loyal and mostly to the circle of structure.
  • Naturally good with details.
  • For all there is always a right way and a wrong way however for them there is ONLY one way and that is the RIGHT way.
  • Don't make many mistakes, might make nervous mistakes.
  • Need a thorough knowledge of product to sell it.
  • Good at developing systems.
  • Very Careful approach, particular about things, can be fussy, choosy and selective.
  • Perfectionist.
  • Like to gather many details before making decisions.
  • Do NOT like criticism they proves them wrong.
  • Often self-critical.
  • Quality oriented.
  • Appreciate knowing the rules, expectations and instructions. Go by set rules.

The best way to work with a person who has the Structure trait is

  • Provide them all the details.
  • Focus on doing the right thing. If things go wrong, first look at the procedures rather than blaming the structured person.
  • Give them the opportunity to ask questions.

Characteristics of people having Structure below the line

  • Dislikes details and will try to delegate them to others when possible.
  • Independent and Flexible.
  • Big picture people ... they don't take a step by step view.
  • Can adjust the rules / system to accomplish the goal.
  • Hates having anyone look over his/her shoulder.

Monday, October 09, 2006


You will see many distinctive people across the world.

These distinct personal qualities help one to establish one’s identity.
Personality can certainly be improved by proper guidance of parents, teachers, friends and colleagues and most important by self.
Developing personality is in a way development of a person in every aspect.

Coming to the specific question how to develop ones personality, first most important thing one should understand is to know about the main factors that constitute its personality.

Broadly speaking these are:

  • Ones physical traits.
  • Intellectual qualities.
  • Attitude.
  • Behavior pattern.
  • Feelings and aspirations.
  • Commitments and Convictions.

How a person can groom or develop personality depends to a great extent upon the way they socialize, interact with others, how they are treated by their near and dear ones, the cultural and social environment in which he/she is brought up, the amount of care and love from all, the contribution made by the school, college, offices and the facilities provided to the person for physical growth and mental development.

There are many aspects to develop a person’s personality. To develop personality one should know all types of Temperament Traits.